Transform dinner prep into quality time with your kids! Learn how the "Dinner Helper" system builds relationships, teaches life skills, and fills love-tanks.
Have you ever felt like your days are so packed with tasks and routines that building meaningful moments with your kids feels impossible? I’ve been there. Between meal prep, cleaning, and all the other “have-to-dos,” it’s easy to miss out on opportunities for connection.
That’s why I started a simple tradition: the “Dinner Helper.” This small but intentional practice has turned an everyday chore into a way to build relationships, teach life skills, and create lasting memories—all while getting dinner on the table.
Dinner Helper
My friend Kirsti started this about a year before I worked up the courage to begin it myself. Finally, once I mustered my inner resources, I gave each child one weekday to be “Dinner Helper,” giving up my time for listening to lectures, sermons, or audio books.
Whether it be because there’s not much prep, because I forget to call my helper, or because the kids are outside playing, it only happens about 50% of the time. Some children are more insistant than others about making sure they get their turn.
I have a few ground rules:
- The dinner helper is the only child allowed in the kitchen.
- The dinner helper is the one who sets the table that day.
- The dinner helper does whatever task I ask of him.
The dinner helper is not the dinner maker, but the apprentice. As such, their primary role is to watch and learn and pitch in as they are able. “Watching is helping” has been one of my dinner-time sayings since my oldest was a toddler.
And it is actually true. Observation is the key to learning. By watching, they will learn and someday cook for themselves.
So, while we cook dinner together, I talk about what I’m doing and why. I make conversation about food and cooking. I answer questions. I ask the child-helper about what they’ve been thinking about lately, listening to their word-stream while chopping onions.
Jobs kids can do:
- Gather and throw away vegetable and other garbage as I chop.
- Dump ingredients into the mixing bowl or pot.
- Help with stirring and mixing.
- Fetch items from the pantry or fridge.
- Return items to the pantry or fridge.
- Put toppings on pizzas.
For the bigger kids (8 & 6 at our house), I try to make sure they get some job that respects their ability and challenges them.
- Peel carrots.
- Scrub potatoes.
- Stir the pot on the stove.
- Measure ingredients.
Admittedly, it is not a glamorous gig. It is kitchen-minion, not junior-chef. But this is how apprenticeships work. You start with the menial work, watching and learning from the master. Gradually, as you understand what is involved and needs doing, you earn more and more responsibility.
My goal is to have each of the children able to make several dinners from scratch by themselves (including remembering all the menial clean-as-you-go tasks!) by age 10 or 11.
Eventually, perhaps by 12, they will each get their own night to simply make dinner, period. That will be a marvelous pay-off. But even already, being able to be with me without any of the other children in the kitchen, accepting jobs and helping out, is clearly something that fills their love-tanks. It gives them something to brag about with their friends, too.
That means that for once I get to be the fun mom instead of the mean mom, and that is something.
Incorporating a "Dinner Helper" system has been a simple yet impactful way to connect with my kids, teach them valuable skills, and make daily routines more meaningful. You don’t have to follow my version exactly—adapt it to fit your family’s needs and schedule.
Whether it’s one-on-one time in the kitchen, assigning other household tasks, or creating a completely different tradition, the goal is the same: build relationships and teach your children through shared experiences. Start small, stay consistent, and watch how even ordinary moments can bring your family closer together. Why not try it tonight?
Want more dinner prep help?
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