Even when you don’t have a job in or out of the home, finding balance as a mom is hard. The good news is that achieving real balance does not mean doing it all. It means being flexible and adaptable, and it’s something we can learn.
True balance is not a matter of perfection, achievement, or equality. It is about making the needed adjustments as you go. When you try to organize your life, seeking balance is good, but only if you have the right metaphor.
The truth about any athlete able to maintain balance in awkward positions is that although they look stable and unmoving, their entire body is actually tense and continually on the move, adjusting and twitching to keep their position. It looks effortless, but their entire body is constantly engaged to make it possible.
We, however, in our lives, have something better than appearing to be stable. In our lives we can have stability because we are not our own source of stability. God is our rock, and our stability is found in Christ. So no matter how much we wobble, visibly or not, we can have a foundational assurance, trust, and security – not in our ability to handle all things, but in God’s ability to handle all things.
This is an excerpt from one of twelve lessons inside Simplified Organization: Organize Your Attitude. It’s called Wobble in Balance. Enjoy.
When we say balance, we tend to picture mechanical scales calibrated just right. We’re looking for the proper proportions to keep things “just right.” We want to find that sweet spot where we feel in control of our lives and on top of our duties.
True life balance, however, especially for moms at home, is not a matter of perfection, achievement, or equality. It is about making the needed adjustments as you go.
Watch a ballerina balance, watch a tight-rope walker balance. Try yourself to balance on one foot. Successful human balance is not frozen or motionless. As you balance, you make tiny compensations throughout your whole body. If you start to topple, you can stay upright by moving back a bit. Even when you look still from a distance, you can feel the tiny twitches within your body as you balance.
It is the same in life. We are not seeking a frozen, perfected balance in life as a mother as if our life is a set of scales. We are in a human balancing act much more like a ballerina, who has strengthened her muscles enough to hold a position and then change as needed, but whose body is always making micro-corrections and compensations.
For awhile, one vocation or one task might take over. But that time passes and we compensate by putting it on the back burner and putting more attention into what we had neglected for a time. As long as we come back around and make healthy compensations, this is balance. This is living out our vocations and our priorities – doing what needs to be done, and making small adjustments and shifts as needed to keep upright and avoid injury.
The more we do so, the stronger we get, and the easier it becomes. The stronger we get, the more it looks effortless or even static, but we know, we can see, the tiny compensations being made as we go.
Our life balance is always a wobble, and that is as it should be.
The truth about any athlete able to maintain balance in awkward positions is that although they look stable and unmoving, their entire body is actually tense and continually on the move, adjusting and twitching to keep their position. It looks effortless, but their entire body is constantly engaged to make it possible.
We, however, in our lives, have something better than appearing to be stable. In our lives we can have stability because we are not our own source of stability. God is our rock, and our stability is found in Christ. So no matter how much we wobble, visibly or not, we can have a foundational assurance, trust, and security – not in our ability to handle all things, but in God’s ability to handle all things.
Balance life through deliberate practice.
Awhile back I was listening to a radio interview of a musician-athlete. She talked about the willingness to accept the drudgery of deliberate, painful, boring practice being an essential element to her success in both music and sports. To be good at something, you have to work at it even when it is not fun or interesting or exciting. In fact, a majority of the time spent on it will not be fun or interesting or exciting, but the mastery produced by practice will be satisfying.
This mentality of deliberate practice is applicable to housekeeping, organization, and to any other learned skill. The actual practice of it is rarely interesting or fun or fulfilling, but satisfaction can be found in improvement, in growing, even when it doesn’t feel like anything is really being accomplished. You’re just doing your scales. Just as in housework, when mastering an instrument or a sport, you very rarely get that moment of something being really completed. It is ongoing, never-arriving, always-room-for-improvement work.
Yet with both an instrument or a sport, we assume it is worthwhile and admirable for a person to dedicate himself to mastery. We call such people role models or heroes, accomplished people.
Can the same not be said for homemakers? Surely it can be. We can become accomplished in faithfulness.
Faithfulness doesn’t imply large, impressive deeds. Faithfulness is all about doing what’s in front of you – your own duty, however humble that is – reliably and earnestly.
Most of what we as mothers do all day are little grains of sand: read a book, correct a child, make a meal, sweep a floor, change a diaper. Our days are full of small tasks, but their smallness does not mean they are insignificant. It is in these ways that we love our families.
What we are after is not success so much as faithfulness. The dictionary defines faithfulness as
- strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.
- true to one’s word, promises, vows, etc.
- steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.
- reliable, trusted, or believed.
- adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate.
God has made us stewards of the gifts He’s granted, and then He’s called us and empowered us to be faithful.
Are you overwhelmed? Looking for more balance in your life at home as a mom?
So many moms are frustrated by what doesn’t get done and what gets undone every day at home. At Simply Convivial, we give moms the direction & accountability they need to manage their real-life homes with satisfaction, consistency, and joy. Usually, that means starting with our attitudes, not our closets.
Our life flows from the inside out, and so does the organization approach we teach in Simply Convivial Membership. Join today and be a part of this month’s conversation on balance and next month’s conversation on procedures. This conversation as well as book clubs, support and accountability through the courses, weekly goal accountability, and small win celebrations happen inside our private chat app community. It’s not on FB, there are no ads, no algorithm, and no distractions. Just real moms meeting each other where they’re at, spurring one another on to love and good works.
We’d love to have you there with us.
- Get gospel-focused advice and encouragement.
- Level up your plans and progress, one step at a time.
- Find accountability with likeminded women without any social media drama.
- Experience the homemaking mentoring you’ve always wanted.
- Learn to love being a homemaker!
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Up next: How to organize your attitude.
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