“I don’t want to go to church”

It’s true: Sunday can be one of the hardest days of the week for moms.

On a day called a day of rest, we’re supposed to get everyone out the door, on time in the morning, looking spiffy and feeling happy.

Particularly for homeschool moms who don’t do that any day of the week but Sunday, church mornings can be full of pressure.

Add to that anxiety about what people at church think about you and your family and your decisions, or expectations around having the best food of the week on Sunday, or just general self-pity that a day of rest sure does sound nice but Sunday sure ain’t it — and Sunday can quickly become the worst day of the week, not the best.

The quick-fix, go-to answer seems to be obvious: Stop the pressure. Don’t go to church. If you eliminate the expectations and tasks surrounding church attendance — along with all the social awkwardness or dramas often involved — then perhaps you can actually have a day of rest.

If we just remake the day of rest into our own image, after our own liking, then maybe we will finally find true rest and peace.

No, ma’am.

Get to church

God calls us to a life of faith and trust and obedience, not a life of taking the “obvious,” self-help option in our lives.

The only time church is toxic in our lives, needing to be cut, is when it’s not a true church at all. And, in that case, the only viable option is to then find a new, true church to join up with — even if that means moving. It is that important.

It doesn’t always feel that way or look that way, I know. I hear from ladies in our email inbox not infrequently that getting to church is hard, and it seems like if the point is to take a day of rest, they think they should be able to take the day for themselves to recuperate alone, with less to do, not more.

I get it. I totally relate to feeling overwhelmed and always at the beck and call of everyone else. It’s an intense period of life, but corporate worship and being part of a local body of believers is the means God uses to sanctify us and to feed us, spiritually.

God tells us in His Word to not neglect the gathering of the saints. I know it feels like one more thing to do and missing out on the opportunity to have time to yourself, but it is wrong to opt out of church.

Worship first

The point of Sunday, a day of rest, isn’t to have time to ourselves, but to have time set aside to worship God. God calls His people together to be a body, and He gives His rest and means of grace corporately in worship. Church isn’t optional because God isn’t optional.

Sunday morning doesn’t have to be crazy. We can let go of our social anxiety and care more for what God says and thinks of us than other people. We can build a livable life so we aren’t strung out by the end of the week.

But ultimately, we don’t fix ourselves first and bring ourselves to the point of being ready to attend church.

We come to God’s house and present ourselves, mess and all, at His feet in worship, and He cleans us up, accepts us, blesses us, and sends us back out.

If we’re having a hard time with going to church, we don’t start with our home situation. We start with faith and obedience in the cornerstone of our life: worship of God.

However, if we’re having a hard time with our home situation, we certainly need to first double-check that we’re actually getting to church, worshipping God, receiving the sacraments, and prioritizing the Word.

Change your attitude

If it seems like it’d be better to stay home, then you’re probably stuck in a lot of bad stories in your head. It feels like you’re stuck in a hamster wheel during the week, but you actually aren’t in reality. It seems like it’d be better to stay home from church, but that’s not true. These are temptations, not reality.

When everyone was young and at home and I was snappy and stir-crazy, I’d take a walk around the block or take a glass of water outside. Sometimes we tell ourselves we need a long stretch of time or something totally different than what’s happening now, when effective refreshment is totally possible on a smaller, doable, repeatable scale. But it starts by preaching to yourself rather than listening to yourself.

For three years now, while running Simplified Organization Community Coaching, I’ve asked in the initial survey about church attendance.

I have never seen any surprises in the answer there.

Not everyone who attends church regularly, rarely missing a Sunday, is totally on top of their responsibilities at home. Over half the ladies to participate choose that answer, but they wouldn’t be starting the program if everything was always awesome.

However, no one who has answered “rarely” to the question is doing well in any other area of their life either. Those who answer “rarely” are also those struggling the most.

Faithfulness matters

When you’re struggling with habits and routines at home, with bad attitudes about the kids helping out during the day, it might sound totally unrelated for me to ask how often you’re going to church (and if your church is preaching expository sermons), but believe me, it is not.

Faithfulness and trust in the major issues spills over into increasing faithfulness in the little things.

Being joined to a local church body as a family is a major issue.

Talk it over with your husband. Commit to prioritizing it. Trust God to work in your heart through it.

More Resources:

• “Taking a Day of Rest as a Mom” at Simply Convivial
• “Why does it matter if I attend a local church” at Ligonier Ministries
• “How to Live a Simple Life You Enjoy” at Simply Convivial

Change the story you tell yourself

The first module of my course Organize Your Attitude is called Focus on Truth, and I’d like to give you access to that for free: